i'm sick AND being taxed too much

What a crappy situation. But since I think reading and/or hearing about other people's colds, flus, and fevers is sooooo boring, I'll spare you the snotty details.

Reading about taxes, on the other hand, now that's fascinatin'. I know that Norway is a socialist country and all, but 45% of my meager monthly earnings going directly to the state is a bit extreme. I figure this is a mistake and I will do whatever it takes to not have to pay that much. And that includes cheating the system. Ha ha!

I am going to my second Tromso Storm B-ball game tonight. One of the players is in the peace program and he said we could have free tickets. So, Scott, along with his dad and brother (who are visiting from South Dakota,) Marjaana, Hanne, and I are gonna brave the snow and cold and take in Tromso's finest sporting event. (I'm just in it for the light show at the beginning.)

Happy Birthdays, Grandmas!

me no understand

At the encouragement of my friend Rune, I auditioned for a choir last week. Well, "choir" is a bit misleading. It is actually an 8-person a-capella group that sings jazz and pop melodies (as well as heavy metal, when I'm done with 'em). The director said that my voice was a "good match for the group" and I joined them for rehearsal on Tuesday.
What a catastrophe. (Me, I mean...not the group.) This one song we are singing - about a rainy day or something - is one of those jazzy songs where one person sings the melody and the rest of us fumble around on a series of dissonant major and minor mixes adding that "groovy touch" to the melody line. (And by "groovy touch" I mean terrifying counter-melody.) I think I got two notes right...then I just did my own little jazz creation for the rest of the song.
Then we broke out "Every Breath You Take," where Rune did a great Sting and, again, the rest of us dinged and donged and ooh-ed and ah-ed our way through the slightly less-
complicated back up chords. This one has potential. And I need a piano. Bad.

saturday night in a camper

I got to spend seven hours Saturday night hanging out in a camper. Anne was stationed there to sell tickets for the film fest and I jumped at the opportunity to chill in a totally old-school camper situated right next to the beautiful, newly-renovated theater.

in a black-out with a blind man

I felt very confused the other day at work when the power suddenly went out in the entire National Center for Telemedisin. I mean, what are you supposed to tell a blind man?

"Uhm. Well, now it's totally dark in this building."

I was waiting for him to say "You're telling me," or "Welcome to my world," or "Oh, I hadn't noticed."

And why is it that everyone's initial reaction is to say: "The power must have gone out!" like they are the only person in the world who came to that conclusion? HELLO! When the entire place goes dark and we are basked in the glow of the green emergency exit lights - yes, they are green in Norway, which is much more soothing than red...I would feel way more comfortable running towards a shining green light during a fire or earthquake or armageddon than a glaring red one, know what I mean? - the logical conclusion is that we have, indeed, lost power.

Oh, the irony of sitting in a wind/rain-induced black-out the day before the sun is supposed to come back to Trosmo! If that isn't Mother Nature (Or Mamma Natur, as Scott called her recently) giving you a wet willy, I'm not sure what is.

everyone knows it's Windy

Who's tripping down the streets of the city? That's me! Because it's a total hurricane in Northern Norway right now, and I am convinced of the fact that all four winds of the universe have plotted together and decided to converge in the entrance to my building. It is, without a doubt, the windiest place in Tromso. Like so windy I can't open the door sometimes. And so windy that the mail gets whisked right out of my hand like in the movies. And so windy I crash into walls and stuff.

And Windy has stor-my eyes
That flash at the sound of lies
And Windy has wings to fly
Above the clouds (above the clouds)
Above the clouds (above the clouds)

(That one's for you, M.)

Yeah, everyone knows it's Windy, so now it can just stop being Windy and go back to being...oh, I don't know....sunny, maybe.

Off to work.

all my lovings

"All my lovings, I will send to you-o-o.
All my lovings, darling I'll be true."

Oh, I love it when nerdy Norwegian guys give it their best on Norwegian Idol.

anne comes to tromso

My dear friend Anne is back in Tromso working at the film festival and staying at my apartment for a week and a half. She is hilarious and I am so glad she wanted to stay with me while she is here. Here is Anne and me playing the game Marit and I made up called "Never Seen A Camera Before."
Anne called this game "Pretend I Just Told You About My Bad Sickness." (Below.)

And then we played "Pretend You See Something Scary That Is Coming At You From Two Directions."

Marjaana wanted to join in on the fun and suggested that we play "Elephant Tricks At The Circus!"

Klem.

the new roomie

Hanne and I did not score too well on our roommate game.
All of our potential roommate predictions were wrong.

Contestant #1 was mid-twenties and tall, but not dark. In fact he was extremely blonde...and very friendly.

Contestant #2 was a girl, but she did not have glasses, nor was she wearing a turtleneck. Also quite pleasant.

Contestant #3 was far less nerdy than anticipated. No wilderness shirt, but he did have a rain jacket. From Stavanger.

Contestant #4 was, well, Swedish. Instead of having spikey hair, he had a shaved head and liked to sign his text-messages with "Hug, Tommy" despite the fact that we had never met him.

So, who did we choose?
None of the above.
They all had some sort of drawback...like they didn't know how long they'd stay in the apartment, or they wanted a monthly massage (guess who), or they couldn't afford it, etc. So my friend Anne told her friend Vibeke about the apartment and she came to have a look. Vibeke is a full-time hair stylist and works just two blocks from our apartment. She loved the place and is very excited to move in. She also wants to buy a lot of new furniture to repace the ugly brown stuff we have now, AND she already told Hanne and me that we would get free haircuts which is GREAT because it costs about four thousand dollars to get a trim in Norway, nonetheless a full blown haircut. Excellent.
So, we think this will be a good situation. We are sad to lose Andre and we wish he was staying, but we are happy to be able to keep the apartment for at least the next year and a half.

what?!

I got an email forward from my Uncle John yesterday that was the funniest/saddest thing ever. I suppose a number of you have already heard this story, but I thought I'd summarize it on my "onjo" for those who haven't. It's just too weird to be true...but it is.

So this 81 year old guy from Fort Sumner is irritated by a mouse he finds in his house and decides to get rid of the mouse once and for all - no, not by tossing it into the woods - but by throwing it into the pile of leaves he is burning in his front yard. The mouse catches fire, runs back into the man's house, sets some curtains ablaze, and the whole house goes up in flames.

"Goodnight little house
And goodnight mouse
Goodnight comb
And goodnight brush."

the search is on

Let's play a game. It's called: "Let's Try To Guess What The Person Coming Over To Look At The Apartment Is Gonna Look Like Given Only What He/She Told Us On The Phone/Sms."

Contestant number one: Eirik, from around Oslo.
Well, it's a guy. Maybe mid-twenties. Likely tall, dark, and astonishingly handsome. Medium length hair...not long, not short, NOT a mullet.

Contestant number two: Gunn-something, also from around Oslo.
This one's a lady. Late-twenties/early-thirties. Short. Brown hair. Glasses. Turtleneck.

Contestant number three: Magnar, 34, from ? (Communication via sms only.)
Another man. Long brown hair in ponytail. Meduim height. Glasses, or maybe goggles. Black tee-shirt with wildlife scene on it. Rainjacket.

Contestant number four: Tommy, 34, from Sweden.
Man, again. Spikey blonde hair...lots of gel. Skinny. Ambulance-driver's outfit...lots of reflective material. Black boots.

We'll let you know how well we've done on the game soon.

speaking of cold turkey...

Apparently Garrison Keillor is a bit of a cold turkey. The radio host (for those of you non-Minnesotans/non-NPR-listeners) was sick when he visited Tromso last week and he sure didn't have anything interesting to say about his time here. (He did write a lot about having a cold, though.) And for someone like him - who is supposed to be so good at finding stories all over the place - you'd think that this island in the Arctic would be a gold mine...sick or not.
Oh well. His loss. He should have drank more orange juice.
(And PS: People talking about having a cold is number two on my "boring list," right after people talking about their weird dreams.)

Hi Mom :-)

dream a little dream

Apparently you are supposed to have weird dreams if you eat cheese before going to bed, but I didn't have any cheese before going to bed last night (just chex mix) and I had a really strange dream anyway. I usually get bored when people tell me about their dreams - they are so ridiculous and bizarre and ultimately only really interesting to the person who had the dream - so I will spare you the details here. It did, however, involve the band "The Darkness," a friend of mine from the Electric Fetus, and some fruit salad. Oh yes, and a scene from the Disney classic "Lady and the Tramp."

I am also thrilled to report that the Norwegian version of "So You Think You Can Dance" (translated into "Dance Fever" på norsk) premeired last night. I particularly enjoyed the guy who combined tai chi with his own special style of modern dance (performed to a song by Enya, I think.) I could not understand why the judges didn't send him into the next round. And it was like totally harsh when they sent the one sister into the next round, but not the other. Like ouch.

I have informed Hanne that when Andre takes the TV (and everything else in our apartment) to Oslo, she is not allowed to put her TV in the living room. I am going cold turkey. Norwegian reality shows are - for some reason - much more entertaining than American ones. I mean, come on. A nerd soccer team, a gay handball team, and a race to get to the northern most point in continental Europe? Who can avert their eyes from that?

Klem.

belle

Here's a picture of Belle and me.
I miss her.

Woof.

nose to the grindstone

Tomorrow is the start of semester two, and I head into it with a sense of optimism. I will be taking two classes: Conflcit Resolution/Conflict Transformation and an anthropology course about cultural violence. I would like to take more, but I think I need to spend some time thinking about my thesis topic and making solid research plans for the summer and next year. I'll also be doing the telemedisin job...no, still don't know what telemedisin is...and the transcription job will continue for a little while longer, as well. I think it will be a good and busy semester, and the fact that it is getting lighter everyday and that the film festival starts soon are major plusses. Not that I can afford a pass to the festival or anything. But I do look forward to the extra people and the atmosphere of it all.

On the down side, Hanne and I are in search of a new roommate. Andre (the big jerk) got a great job in Oslo and is moving down south shortly. He'll continue with the program here, but from a distance. So, if any of you know of someone who doesn't smell bad, is generally neat and tidy, and who would like to live in a fabulous apartment in downtown Tromso, let me know.
(We still love you, Andre...even if you are taking the kjøleskap and the micro.)

Later.

PS: Tusen takk for the package, Grandma and Grandpa!

colors and eggs

The light is getting longer in the North.
Yesterday was the best.
If you looked south, the sky was pink and red and purple. If you looked north and west, it was this color blue that I swear you'll only ever see in the Arctic during the winter. It is kind of "smurf" blue, or the color of the busses here in town when they're clean. It's a rich blue that is infused with a little red, and it is so vivid that you feel like you can reach out and grab a fistful of it in your hand....and then smear it on the wall.

I made an omellete for dinner last night, and as ridiculous as it seems, I had never made one before. In fact, I don't particularly like eggs, but it sounded good. I remember that Mom would crack two eggs into the red mug with little white hearts on it and then beat them for a little bit with a fork. Her omellete's are always perfect, so maybe I forgot to add something. Mine looked like crap, but it tasted great.

more onphos for you mofos

Here are just a few more pics from the recent extravaganza that was my trip to Finnmark.
I've selected these ones from the prestigious "Tundra Collection I."

onphos

(online + photos)
Here are some pictures of my juleferie in Alta.
You can fill in the blanks.

crappy zoo beer, everyone!

I rang in the new year looking out over Alta, Norway from Komsa (a hill in the town). I have done this three times now and it is starting to feel like a tradition. I'm sure it won't be the last time I climb up Komsa, either.

I want to wish every one who reads this "onjo" a great 2006.
Feel free to come to Tromsø for a visit...and bring some velveeta shells and cheese, please.
Big "Poo Gear" hugs to you all!

love.