a thousand miles behind

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

x-treme america!

I'm going to the States in about a week and I'm trying to prepare myself for the impending culture shock. I wouldn't worry so much about this if I were going to Minneapolis or Milwaukee, but I am flying into New York and then going south to Texas - from "yikes" to "yeehaw." That's like going to Afghanistan and being picked up at the airport by the Taliban, or being teleported into the middle of a beer-chugging contest during Oktoberfest in Deutschland. Extreme, to say the least. But I'm not one to shy away from a little extremity. (I just gave the word a new meaning.) I really only have to deal with New York for a few hours, and I'm going to Austin, Texas, which is the least Texas-like place in the State - or so I've heard. But anyway, if they don't mess with me, I won't mess with them.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

green is the new blue

Blue used to be my favorite color, but now I prefer green...hence the new appearance of my "onjo." I hope you like the updated look!

Monday, January 29, 2007

meatball delight
















Some guy recently added a McSweeney list about meatballs, which got me thinking about this classic old song.

On Top of Spaghetti

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.

My questions is: What are you doing tasting something that was sneezed on, then rolled on the floor and under a bush, and that was eventually squashed into some grody meatball mush? That's nasty.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

gracias a la vida


I thought I might see the sun today for the first time in over two months, but then the clouds rolled in. But that doesn't make me sad or anything, I guess. It just means that when I see it next it will last even longer than it would have today. It is true that no matter where you live on this planet you will receive the same amount of sunlight in the course of one year...the summer makes up for the winter, or vice versa depending on how you look at it.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

power pointy kitty

I've been acquainting myself with PowerPoint lately in an attempt to look somewhat professional at this conference I'm presenting at in Texas. I've done PowerPoint before, but it was for some lame-o class presentation about corporal punishment (aka spankin' your kids, for the proletariat out there) so I didn't put much effort into it. But this time around I'm going hard core. Pictures, graphs, quotes, funny joke slides to get the audience laughing, you name it. It's gonna be AWESOME!

But seriously, I think it would be rad - I mean, if I actually had time for this sort of nonsense - to make PowerPoint presentations about every aspect of my life and then make people come over and watch them. Like I could make one about my bus ride to school this morning, or about the meeting I went to last night, or I could even make a PowerPoint presentation about making my PowerPoint presentation. I would make some cool ones, too. Like a PartyPowerPoint. Anyway, you get the picture.











Here I've included a PowerPoint slide from the Breakfast Club of Regina. I like that the toast is wearing a necktie.

Monday, January 22, 2007

post film fest

Hi. Now that Tromsø International Film Festival is finished, I can catch up on some onjo-ing. I saw some good films, a couple of great films, and a lot of short films. I don't really see the point of choosing a favorite, but I will recommend a few to you.

"The Cats of Mirikitani" - about an elderly Japanese-American artist who spent much of his life living on the streets of New York and drawing pictures of cats and his internment camp in California.

"Chronicle of an Escape" - about four men who are victims of torture at a detention camp during the Argentinian coup d'état of 1976 and how they ultimately escape.

"...More than 1000 Words" follows two years in the life of world-famous Israeli photo journalist Ziv Koren.

If you ever get a chance to see any of these ones, do it.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

sleeping under a fake fur blanket


My friend Panama is working at the film fest this week and staying at my apartment. I'm letting her borrow my blanket, which means that I am using this black, fake fur blanket that showed up at our apartment when I got back from Alta. Sometimes if I wake up during the night I get startled by the fake fur, thinking it's an animal or that I have become a wolf or something. But then I remember where I am and what the deal is.

I googled "fake fur blanket" just for the hell of it and found a picture of one that looks almost exactly like the one I am using. I like that someone wanted to take a picture of it.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

creepy man wearing slippers

The front page story in today's paper is about a man who has been creeping around Kvaløya and breaking into people's houses to steal cash and credit cards while wearing red and green slippers. They already call him "Slipper Man." I wish I could include the newspaper graphic they made of this dude in my onjo...it's a short, shadowy, grey-toned, faceless man wearing bright red and green checkered slippers. And since the slippers are the most important characteristic of this guy, the graphic artist has chosen to include a couple of "sparkle stars" for emphasis...you know, those three-line stars that are supposed to indicate that something is shiny or important. Well, there's one of those on each slipper. Rad.

If I can get ahold of the graphic, I'll be sure to include it.

AND GUESS WHAT!! I don't have to move, afterall. Hanne found a replacement for her room and Vibeke has agreed to stay, as well. The replacement is, oddly enough, a former peace and conflict student called Hanne. Weird, but makes life easy for me...no new names to learn.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

where is the yellow river?












The Yellow River starts in southwestern Winneshiek County, Iowa and then flows through southern Allamakee County. It joins the Mississippi River near Marquette and Effigy Mounds National Monument.

Last night Tove sang a song about the Yellow River at a song night at one of the local pubs in town. I didn't know what to expect going into this evening of song, but it was really fun and, at times, totally hilarious. I joined her on stage for a second number leading the audience through a Skogfjorden classic, Jeg Plantet et Tre. In my opinion, Tove stole the show.

Sometimes I miss Iowa.

Monday, January 08, 2007

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Time to "turn and face the strain."
My roommate, Hanne, is moving to Oslo soon, and she and Vibeke and I have decided that the best and most financially lucrative option for all three of us is to give up our wonderful apartment in the middle of downtown Tromsø. This isn't an easy decision, but it is the best one, I think. So, as of March 1st, I will have a new address. I don't know what that address will be, but I will let you know as soon as I know. For the time being, I'm gonna soak up my last month-and-a-half in our penthouse suite overlooking Kongeparken.

Send me good apartment-finding vibes and keep your fingers crossed that I can adjust to new surroundings, write my thesis, work, and volunteer at the same time.

PS: Thanks for the Chex Mix, Grandma and Grandpa!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

IFF '07 resurrected (uncle john's entry)

Apocalypto I Tystnad

en film av Ingmar Bergman

When Bergman made "Jungfrukällan," based on a folksong, he called it an homage to Kurosawa, while some saw reflections of his earlier, angry-young-man films like "Hets," "Kris" or even "Kvinna utan Ansikte," which was praised as "förtjusande omoget ibland."

Now at the Götterdämmerung of his career, Bergman has again confounded the critics and legions of aging film professors by shifting time periods, thematic elements and whole continents.

Having worked with American Actors before so pointlessly in "The Serpent’s Egg," ("Das Schlangenei") Bergman wrote the entire mise en scene based on an Aztec headdress he saw in The Old Shaman Store in the Atlanta Airport while he was in exile from the Swedish Tax Authorities.

What resulted was a radically atypical movie for a man who has devoted his long and illustrious career to breaking down barriers between sanity and depression, between being able to cope and wanting to curl up in the corner of a stone church in Uppland and calling on a God in whom you no longer believe.

While lacking Mel Gibson’s ecstatic/psychotic visions of Grand Guignol theo-catharsis, Bergman has the maturity to see through the outward paint and pyramidicall glitter of a sacrificial religion into the heart of those trapped in a system that their fathers were so good at, but which they don’t quite appreciate.

Foregoing the easy options of topless maidens in the tropics, Bergman has set "Ur majoretternas liv" not in the Yucatan jungle, but in the pre-Christian forests of Uppsala.

Bear Paw, the chief of the Viking raiders, is a reluctant slave trader who has lost faith in his community’s Vinterblot, the great sacrificial orgy of midwinter near the grave tumuli of the great chieftains.

Plagued by doubts, Bear Paw confesses his doubts to his wife, Synnove Snowbakken: "I go into the sacred grove to have Thor dissolve my resistance, to try to bond with Odin, the father figure I can never please enough, but my faith scurries away like mice when you throw Lutfisk at them.

"Our attempts to please the Aesir are futile. Life is futile. Spring will come again whether or not we sacrifice a single horse, let alone a person. This cannot go on."

The color has leached out of the film until this final scene when there is no color left, save flashes of Euros being pushed across the ticket office desk by Graduate Students in Film Studies desperate for a new Thesis for their Doctoral papers.

Cahiers du Cinema hails it as a masterpiece, "Entertainment Tonight" interviews the third girl from the left in the great Viking raid on Paris, and Pat Robertson issues a Fatwa against the pagan Scandinavians for endangering his trade in blood diamonds and African gold.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

blåmerke

Ouch. I rammed my left thigh into the corner of the couch this morning. It's gonna leave a really pretty blåmerke.

Happy New Year! I brought in 2007 with Panama, Hanne, Marjaana, chicken tandoori, red wine, and fireworks. It was a fun and fairly exhausting evening. There was a huge "2006" sign (made out of torches I would imagine) on the moutainside on the mainland that changed magically to "2007" at the stroke of midnight. I wondered about the people up there whose job it was to extinguish some of the torches so the 6 became a 7. Brrrrrrr.
I have spent a few New Year's Eves looking down from a mountaintop, but this time I was gazing up at one. If I choose to interpret that metaphorically, which I do, then I assume it means that I will face some challenges during the coming year. But to be honest, that sounds really good to me. Perhaps I've been cool-breezin' a little too much as of late. So, to my metaphoric fortune I say simply: bring it on.

Peace.

incognito