squash it

I had to take a break from writing my anthropology of violence paper yesterday, and the logical hour-long time slot is from 16.00 to 17.00 when Beverly Hills 90210 is on TV3. Little did I know that I was not actually escaping the theme of violence, but getting an additional lesson on how to handle it. You see, David Silver had befriended a young black boy who happened to be an "awesome" dj. David Silver asked this boy to play in a hip-hop show with him at the Peach Pit After Dark, and even though Steve didn't think it was such a hot idea - the boy was a trouble-maker - they decided to go ahead with the show anyway. (I know some of you remember this episode. Don't deny it.) So the show is going really well - Juwan was dj-ing hard core, David Silver was rapping, and the crowd at the Pit was loving it! And then the Australian band who wanted to play that night but who had been turned down - the Bloody Roos - stormed the stage, threw some stuff around, knocked down some people, and readied themselves for a fight with David Silver, Juwan, and some of their hip-hopper friends. It looked as if all hell was about to break loose...guns were drawn, fists were up, the Bloody Roos were shouting nasty stuff in Australian, and then a MIRACLE happened. Juwan suddenly remembered something from his non-violent worksjop with his parole officer. "Squash it," he said to those nasty Roos. (When you say "squash it" you also have to put your hands out in front of you in a very confident manner and basically do the "paper covers rock" move from rock, paper, scissors. This hand action is a must in the "squash it" theory of violence reduction.) So Juwan decided he wasn't gonna fight these punks and "squashed" the violence in a most extreme way. He totally walked away from the fight. And then his Unlce loved him again.
So if you ever find yourself really tempted to punch, or trip, or bite someone, just "squash it." Seriously. You'll feel WAY better.